I studied the contents of my wide-open suitcase, ticking them off against the packing list on my phone. It was much neater than it had been each time I’d joined Taylor and his brothers on tour that year – all of the clothes I was taking had been divided up into a bunch of packing cubes that I’d picked up from the Strandbags in the local Westfield, with the shoes I planned to wear at one point or another during our trip across the Ditch lining its base. Draped over the footboard of Taylor’s bed was a black garment bag that had the hooks of six coathangers poking out of the top, the outfits I’d picked out for the upcoming shows zipped safely inside – it was the last thing, apart from my toiletry kit, that I planned to pack before I closed and locked my suitcase in the morning.

Unlike the very quick trip to New Zealand right after the Queensland regional tour – one that had been even quicker for me because I’d joined it halfway through – the tour starting on Wednesday would be almost two weeks long and was set to hit six cities, beginning with Dunedin and Invercargill in the south of the country and winding its way north to Auckland. Midway through the tour Taylor and I would be breaking off from the main tour group, just as we’d done during the Victorian and Queensland regional tours, and making our own way from Christchurch to Wellington. Once the tour was over the band’s summer break would be starting, during which I would be making the move out of my caravan and into Taylor’s place. We had set the sixth of January as my move-in day.

With the contents of my suitcase in order, and not needing to worry about any of my other packing until after dinner at the absolute latest, I flipped my suitcase closed. The sound of car engines and voices drifted toward me as I left Taylor’s room, with the former sending me cross-eyed for a moment when I reached the end of the hallway and stepped into the lounge. Zac and Joshua were sitting on the lounge in front of the TV, a game controller each in hand as they raced around the on-screen racetrack, and Isaac leaning on the back of the lounge egging the both of them on. On the other side of the room I could see Jessica and Avery sitting at the long dining table that took up the room’s other half, nearly identical blonde heads bent over a magazine – as I walked past them on my way to the kitchen, Avery looked up and gave me a smile that I immediately returned.

“There you are, Ruby,” Diana said as I stepped into the kitchen. The large, open space was a hive of activity – Nikki was threading pieces of meat, capsicum and pineapple onto wooden skewers, alternating chicken and what looked like either lamb or beef, while Kate was doing the same with meatballs, cherry tomatoes and cubes of haloumi cheese. I made to reach for a cherry tomato and earned myself a smacked hand courtesy of Kate, and I stuck my tongue out at her before sidling behind the two of them and heading further into the kitchen.

“Anything I can do to help?” I asked. I’d figured out pretty quickly that Diana was making a potato bake – she was layering thick slices of potato, pieces of bacon and cream in a large baking dish, an open package of shredded cheese within reach. “That looks really good,” I added, feeling my stomach beginning to rumble. Potato bake was one of my all-time favourite foods.

“No, we have everything under control,” she replied, and gave me a warm smile that reached all the way up to her eyes. “But I believe Taylor mentioned wanting a hand with getting dessert squared away later. He’s downstairs if you want to go find him.”

“Do you want me to drag him upstairs yet?”

By the expression on her face, I could tell that Diana was only pretending to think about her answer. “Not at the moment. I’ll call you both upstairs for dinner.”

“Sounds good to me.”

I could hear a piano playing as I headed downstairs to the practice space, the music growing progressively louder the closer I got. When I poked my head in through the open door at the bottom of the stairs, it was to find Taylor sitting on the practice space’s lounge with his keyboard on its stand in front of him, playing it with his head tipped back and his eyes closed. The sight of him completely engrossed in his music, long and slender fingers moving fluidly across the keys, made a warm and fluttery feeling form in the deepest pit of my stomach and a shiver go down my spine.

“It’s a shame we’re at your parents’ house,” I said once he had stopped playing. His eyes snapped open and he stared at me, and for a moment he looked like a deer frozen in headlights. “Because I could totally jump you right now.”

“The door locks,” he replied almost nonchalantly, once he had composed himself. “And it’s soundproofed down here. Nobody would hear a thing.”

“We’re still not doing it.”

I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or not, but for maybe a second or two I thought he looked almost disappointed. “What were you playing?” I asked once I’d sat down beside him.

“Just something I was thinking about playing on tour,” he replied with a shrug. “It’ll depend on if we do solos this time or not.” He settled back into the lounge’s cushions and looked over at me. “All ready to go tomorrow?”

“Nearly. I still need to pack my backpack, and there’s a few things left that I can’t pack until tomorrow morning.” I nudged him with my shoulder. “What about you?”

“Same as you. Just a few things left for me to pack up.” He reached out to his keyboard again and brushed his fingers along the edge of its keys, the sight making more heat curl somewhere around my middle. “Are you looking forward to tour?”

I nodded. “Yeah. It should be fun.” I shifted a little closer to his side and nudged him gently in the ribs with my elbow. “It’s nearly a year,” I said.

“Hmm?”

“Since we first met,” I clarified. “This Friday.”

He seemed to be thinking this over for a moment or two. “Damn, it is too,” he said at last, before letting out a sigh. “I almost wish there wasn’t a show that night. I feel like we should do something epic to celebrate.”

“We could still do something. Nothing’s stopping us from doing something in the time between you finishing sound check and the start of the show.”

“We could,” he agreed. “What would you want to do, though? Because I’m pretty sure we’re spending the morning of the day of the Invercargill show on interviews. It won’t leave us much time to celebrate.”

I thought about it for about half a minute. “How about you surprise me? I’ve always liked your surprises.” A thoughtful look settled on his face, and I hid a smile. “Come on. Your mum said you wanted a hand with dessert – I’ll help if you want.”

He gave me a smile. “Yeah, okay.” And with those words he eased himself to his feet, holding out a hand to help me up, and we headed back upstairs together.

Nearly a week later, on the morning of our third full day in New Zealand, I woke up to the sounds of voices and someone cooking in the kitchen of the apartment that Taylor and I were calling home during our stay in Invercargill. We had arrived in the city early the previous afternoon, following a sold-out show in Dunedin, and I had spent the time between arriving in the city and dinner out at an Italian restaurant exploring while Taylor was off doing interviews. I wasn’t sure what Taylor had planned for that morning, but I knew him well enough by now to know that it would be worth the wait.

The voices and sound of cooking got louder as I left the bedroom of the apartment, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I walked, and I rounded the corner into the main room to find Zac sitting at the tiny dining table and Taylor holding court over the cooktop in the kitchen, his back to me and an egg flip in his right hand. He was still wearing his pyjamas – a dark grey Powderfinger T-shirt from the band’s Golden Rule tour, and long black-and-white checked pyjama pants that sat low on his hips. “You’re here early,” I commented as I sat down across the table from Zac and unlocked my phone. The clock in its status bar gave the time as half-past seven.

“Taylor needed to talk to me about something,” Zac replied with a shrug. He gave me a wink before standing up. “I’ll see you this arvo, Tay.” To me he said, quietly in my ear, “Don’t wear him out too much before sound check, yeah?”

“Pervert,” I retorted, smacking him lightly on his shoulder.

“You know you love me,” he replied with a grin.

“Zac being a pervert again?” Taylor asked once the apartment door had closed behind his brother.

“Did he ever stop?” I replied, answering his question with one of my own. “What are you cooking, by the way?”

“It’s a surprise,” he replied. “You’ll like it, I promise.”

“Does this surprise have anything to do with why you went out at nine o’clock last night and told me to stay in the bedroom for ten minutes after you got back?”

“It might.”

“You’re very lucky I like your surprises, mister.”

He looked back over his shoulder at me and grinned, his smile lighting his eyes right up, and I hid a smile of my own as I looked back down at my phone.

He was done cooking not long after that, and I put my phone away just in time to see him carrying two plates laden with French toast, strawberries and blueberries, icing sugar and vanilla ice cream to the table. As soon as he had set the plates down on the table – one of them in front of me, the other at the place across the table – he darted over to the fridge and took out a bottle of maple syrup.

“I don’t have to do interviews today,” he explained once he had sat down at the table, not looking up from drizzling maple syrup over his breakfast. “Called in a favour with Joel and Caroline.”

“So we have all day together?” I asked hopefully.

“I still have to put in an appearance at sound check. But until four o’clock, then yes, I’m all yours.” He put the maple syrup down, reached across the table for my free hand and interlaced our fingers, his hand almost dwarfing mine. “We don’t even have to go anywhere if you don’t want to. If you just want to stay in all day and watch really bad movies, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“I kind of wanted to go Christmas shopping, actually,” I said, and cut a bite of French toast with the side of my fork, spearing it on the fork’s tines. Nutella spilled out onto the plate from between the two slices of bread, and I quickly swiped my fork through it before sticking it in my mouth. “Holy shit that’s good,” I just about groaned. “Can you make this every morning?”

He let out a quiet chuckle. “If you like,” he replied, and he let go of my hand.

After we had both finished eating, I went back into the bedroom to get dressed while Taylor cleaned up. “Quick question,” he said as he joined me in the bathroom, once I had changed out of my pyjamas into shorts and a T-shirt. I glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as I ran my hairbrush through my curls. He was leaning against the doorjamb with his thumbs hooked over the waistband of his pants, hands splayed out across his hips. “Would you be okay with me saying something about us two during a show? Like about how we met?”

I had to think about my answer for a few moments. So far, I had somehow managed to escape the scrutiny that I knew had to have followed Nikki and Kate around once the fandom had found out who they were. The closest anyone had got to finding out who I was had been during half-time at the first State of Origin game for that year back in June, and even then it had been just a random observation. Taylor had been careful thus far to protect me as much as he could, but I knew he couldn’t protect me forever.

“I’m okay with that,” I replied, before eyeing him with one eyebrow raised. “What exactly are you planning?”

He didn’t say a word. His only response was a grin as he straightened up and wandered back into our bedroom, leaving me to finish doing my hair. I frowned a little before shrugging – he was allowed his secrets, and if he wanted to keep this one for a little while longer then I wasn’t about to bother him about it.

I found out what he was planning that evening.

“So a year ago today, we were winding up a tour back home,” Taylor said about midway through that evening’s show. Invercargill’s Civic Theatre was just about packed to the rafters, and if the building was still standing in the morning I was going to be quietly shocked. Hanson fans could get more than a bit rowdy at shows. My seat was on the right-hand side of the auditorium, right between Nikki and Kate. Isaac and Zac had already performed their solos, with Isaac having yielded the stage to Taylor a couple of minutes earlier. “Right before the last show of that tour, I…well, I bumped into a couple of fans. One of those fans has become one of the most important people to me, and I can’t imagine my life without her in it.” Scattered cheers rose up from the audience at these words, and I could feel myself slowly turning pink. “Her name is Ruby, and this song is for her.”

It didn’t take me long to recognise the song that Taylor had chosen as his solo for that evening. It was the same one he had been practicing at his parents’ nearly a week earlier. As the first chords of my favourite Josh Groban song rang out across the auditorium I let my eyes drift shut, the world falling away until just Taylor and I remained.

“Over mountains, and sky blue seas…on great circles, will you watch for me…the sweetest feeling I’ve got inside…I just can’t wait to get lost in your eyes…and all these words that you meant to say…held in silence day after day…words of kindness that our poor hearts crave…please don’t keep them hidden away…

“Sing it out so I can finally breathe in…I can take in all you say…holding out for something I believe in…all I really need today…I want to free your heart…I want to see your heart…please don’t keep your heart hidden away…

“You’re a wonder, how bright you shine…a flickering candle in a short lifetime…a secret dreamer that never shows…if no one sees you, then nobody knows…and all these words you were meant to say…held in silence day after day…words of kindness that our poor hearts crave…please don’t keep them hidden away…

“Sing it out so I can finally breathe in…I can take in all you say…reaching out for someone I believe in…all I really need today…I want to feel your love…will you reveal your love…please don’t keep your love hidden away…

“I want to free your heart…I want to see your heart…please don’t keep your heart hidden away…”

As the final notes of the song faded out applause and more cheers surrounded me, and I opened my eyes. Out on the stage Taylor was still sitting at the piano, head thrown back with his eyes closed and a contented-looking smile on his face, one that I found myself echoing. Moments later he straightened up and looked out at the audience, and I knew straight away that he was trying to find someone. It didn’t take long for his gaze to land on me, and when I smiled at him he gave me the brightest smile I had seen from him in a long time in return – one that could have lit up the darkest of night skies.

After the encore, one that had seen the three of them jumping off the drum riser at the end of a raucous cover of Who Made Who by AC/DC, I headed backstage to find Taylor. It took a bit of hunting and wandering of corridors, but I finally found the dressing room he had holed himself up in. I could hear the sound of a shower running and loud, slightly off-key singing drifting out from behind its closed door. Rather than barge in on him while he was showering, I propped myself up against the corridor wall and waited for the water to stop running.

I wasn’t waiting long. I had just scrolled halfway up my Twitter timeline when I heard the water from the shower shut off, and I locked my phone before slipping it into my pocket and straightening up. “Anyone alive in there?” I called through the door once I’d knocked.

“Hang on a sec!” he called back. The door opened a couple of minutes later, and I gave him a smile and a little wave. “Hi,” he said with a smile of his own from beneath the towel he was using to dry his hair. He had changed back into the jeans he’d worn onstage, and had swapped the red short-sleeved shirt he had been wearing during the show for a black T-shirt that had a cartoon piñata and the words You know you want to hit this on the front.

“Hi yourself,” I replied, about half a second before I leaned in and kissed him. He tasted like peppermint and smelled like the ocean, and I let out a sigh against his mouth before drawing back.

“What was that for?” he asked, sounding a bit stunned. “I mean, I’m not going to say no to a kiss from you, but-” He stopped short as I kissed him again.

“You were incredible tonight,” I told him. “I…I’ve never heard you sing like that before.”

“What can I say, you inspired me,” he said with a half-shrug. “You liked my surprise?”

“I loved it,” I replied. “And I love you.”

He stepped forward and drew me into his arms, holding me so close that I could feel his heart beating against mine. “I love you too, Ruby,” he said. “I always will.”

---

“What are you doing for Christmas this year?”

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Taylor looking away from the rear windscreen of the campervan we had rented the previous morning in Christchurch and over at me, an almost contemplative look on his face. He was lying on his front, chin propped on his crossed arms. It was a spectacular day today, with bright blue skies as far as the eye could see and not one cloud in sight. “Probably going to my parents’,” he replied at last. “Haven’t heard anything about going out to my aunt and uncle’s place this year, so unless Mum says something I’ll be going to Newy for a few days.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “What, were you planning something?”

“Well, no, but…” I shifted myself off my back and onto my right side so I could see him more easily. “My brothers’ and sisters’ other halves have a standing invitation to Christmas lunch at Mum and Dad’s if they’re not spending it elsewhere. Odds are you’re included in that invitation too. So I was just wondering if you wanted to come to Christmas at my parents’ this year, if Mum says that you’re invited. I really doubt you wouldn’t be.” I fidgeted a little, picking at a loose thread on the hem of my T-shirt. “I’d really like it if you came.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He seemed to be considering this for a little while. “Yeah, okay.”

I raised myself up on my right elbow, leaned over and planted a kiss on Taylor’s right temple. “I’ll ring Mum later and let her know.”

We lapsed into a comfortable silence after this, one broken only by birdsong, traffic on the road nearby and a train rattling past on the railway line that ran along the coastline. Today was the second day of the band’s mid-tour break – just after lunchtime the day before, the two of us had split off from the main tour group and headed off up the east coast of the South Island, our first stop being a caravan park in the town of Kaikōura. It was nearly midday and neither of us had made a move to get out of bed just yet. We would need to get up at some point, especially if either of us wanted to eat at any point that afternoon or evening, but for now I was making the most of the chance to be a bit lazy.

“We should get married.”

I started a little at this and looked over at Taylor. He had gone back to staring out the campervan’s rear windscreen, the contemplative look he’d had on his face not even fifteen minutes earlier back in place. “What, right now?”

“No, not right now. I don’t even know what we’d need to do to get married here. But one day.”

“You do realise we haven’t even been going out for nine months yet, right?”

“Rue…” I watched as he eased himself upright so that he was sitting with his legs crossed, and I bit back a giggle as his head almost bumped into the van’s ceiling. Without even thinking about it I moved so that I was lying with my head in his lap. “Dad once told me that he knew within a week of meeting Mum that he was going to marry her one day.”

I let out a low whistle. “That soon, hey?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“So we’re dragging the chain a bit, yeah?”

He let out a quiet chuckle. “Just a bit.” Here I felt him start to play with my hair. “Say we do get married one day. What would you want?”

“I’ve never really thought about it,” I admitted. “Aside from the fact that I don’t want it to be a religious ceremony.”

“Me neither, to be honest.”

“I thought you were?”

He shook his head. “Used to be, when I was younger. Like just about everyone is. We all do Scripture classes at school and shit like that. Then…” He sighed quietly, hitching his right shoulder up in a half-shrug. “All that bullshit happened.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he meant by that. “So nothing religious, check,” I said. “Can I get back to you on the rest? If we do get hitched one day, then I want it to be just right.”

“Yeah, ‘course you can.”

“Oh, and Tay?”

“Yeah?”

“If you actually do go and propose to me, whenever that ends up being, I want fairy lights. Lots of fairy lights.”

This time he laughed. “Yeah, okay. I’ll see what I can do.”

I gave him a quick smile and poked him in the ribs before sitting up. “I’m gonna go have a shower and get dressed.”

Before I wandered off to the caravan park’s amenity block with a bath towel, a change of clothes and my toiletries in tow, I sat down at the picnic table that was next to the campervan and unlocked my phone. The sound of the shower starting in the van’s tiny bathroom drifted out of the open passenger-side door, sparking some entirely indecent thoughts that at any other time, I would have been more than willing to act upon. Instead I damped those thoughts down and opened Facebook Messenger, making sure my phone was connected to the park’s wifi before tapping on Mum’s name and starting a video call.

“Ruby!” Mum said when she had answered. She sounded both surprised and happy that I’d called her. In the background I could see Sadie running around my parents’ backyard, chasing after a mynah bird that had invaded her territory.

“Hey Mum. Just checking in,” I said.

“How’s the tour going?”

“Good,” I replied. “The band’s on a short break between shows so Tay and I are roadtripping up to Wellington. We’re at a caravan park in a little town called Kaikōura right now.” I fidgeted a little with my free hand. “He told the world about me a few days ago. Said I was one of the most important people to him and that he can’t imagine his life without me in it.”

“What brought that on?”

“Year since we met.” Not to mention it’s been a year since I fell on my arse right in front of him, I added silently. I was incredibly thankful that nobody had mentioned that particular incident in months – while it had led to Taylor and I meeting and eventually getting together, it had still been embarrassing. “He did ask me first before he told everyone who I was,” I added before Mum could say anything. “And I said it was okay.”

“Good, I was wondering if he had. Did he do anything else?”

“Sang my favourite Josh Groban song to a thousand people.”

Mum let out a quiet chuckle. “Ruby, you are very lucky I love your dad, because otherwise I would snatch that boyfriend of yours up for myself. He’s a keeper, that one.”

“Yeah, he is,” I agreed.

“Now then, I’m guessing you have another reason for calling me,” Mum said, sounding as if she was getting down to business. “Otherwise I doubt you would be using up your roaming data on a video call.”

“The caravan park’s got wifi Mum, it’s all right.” I swallowed hard. “Christmas is coming up.”

“It is, yes. Did you want to invite Taylor?”

“You read my mind.”

“I’m your mum, Ruby. Of course I did.” She cracked a smile. “He’s more than welcome to come to lunch. There’ll always be a place at the table for him.”

“Okay, awesome. I thought there might be but I figured I should ask just to make sure.” I traced a scorch mark about the size of a coffee cup that had been burned into the surface of the picnic table. “I should probably go,” I said, trying not to sound too reluctant. “I think we’re heading out for lunch soon and I still need to have a shower before we leave.”

“All right. Have fun on the rest of your road trip.”

I cracked a smile. “I will. Talk to you later.”

As soon as the call ended, I locked my phone and got back to my feet, and started heading in the direction of the women’s showers.

Rather than wander down to the town centre to see what we could find for lunch, the two of us headed a couple of hundred metres up the road to the town’s bakery. It was pretty popular, if the small crowd inside was anything to go by, so rather than add to the crush of people I sat down at one of the tables outside, beneath a bright red umbrella. “Can you get me a pasty if they have them?” I asked, and Taylor started tapping away on the screen of his phone – I figured he was making a note of what I wanted for lunch. “If they don’t, I’d love a sausage roll. And…” I squinted a little as I tried to decide if I wanted anything else. “A chocolate milk as well.”

He finished typing on his phone and leaned down for a quick kiss. “Back soon,” he said, and gave me a smile before heading inside the bakery. Just as the door closed behind him, my phone chimed and a text message notification popped up on screen – one from Taleah.

Postie just dropped off that thing you ordered. Do i get to find out what it is yet?

Not yet, I texted back. You’ll find out on chrissy day, he’s coming to lunch at mum and dad’s.

Spoilsport. Here she’d put a winking emoji with its tongue sticking out. How’s nz?

It’s good – we’re in this little town about halfway between christchurch and wellington right now, getting back on the road in the morning. Been nice to have a little break from touring and shows. After a moment or two, I added, I think the break’s been really good for taylor too. He was really worn out after the show in christchurch.

When do you get home?

Next thursday, i think. I’ll have to double check our itinerary to make sure. I let out a quiet sigh – as much as I was enjoying being in New Zealand, I was starting to miss home. That there was still more that a week left until I could sleep in my own bed again made me miss being in familiar surroundings even more than I normally did while I was away. I can’t wait to be home again.

I figured that the bakery hadn’t been as busy as I’d thought, because it wasn’t long after I’d finished texting Taleah that Taylor returned with lunch. One of the white paper bags he put down on the table in front of me along with a bottle of chocolate milk had a pasty inside, just as I’d hoped, with the other holding a cupcake that had chocolate frosting and a scattering of hundreds and thousands on top. “You okay?” he asked right before he started in on his own lunch of a potato-topped meat pie.

“Yeah,” I replied with a small half-shrug. “Taleah texted me and it made me miss home, that’s all.”

He put his pie down on its paper bag and drew me into a hug, and I closed my eyes. “I know,” he said quietly, close to my ear. “I do too. We’ll be home soon though.”

“Not soon enough if you ask me.”

He let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah, I know. But look at it this way – once we get home, we’ve got six whole weeks off. No touring, no shows, no classes. Six weeks all to ourselves. Plus Christmas is in two weeks.”

“And in three and a half weeks we move in together,” I added. “Okay, that makes me feel a bit better.”

“I thought it might.” He released me from the hug, and I took my pasty out of its paper bag. “Speaking of Christmas, what did you get me?”

“Who says I got you anything?” I retorted.

“You spent fucking ages in that music store while we were in Invercargill, for starters,” he replied.

“You were in there a hell of a lot longer than me, thanks very much.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “I got you something, don’t worry. But you have to wait until Christmas to find out what it is.”

“You’re no fun.” He nudged me in the side with his elbow and went back to his lunch.

The next week and a half was going to feel like an eternity. The last few tours had taught me that much at least. But if anything or anyone was going to make me feel a bit better about still being so far from home, Taylor would. Because really, anywhere that we were together was home.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked as I finished my pasty. He had long finished his pie, and had moved so that he was sitting backwards at our table, his elbows resting on the table’s edge.

I took the cupcake he had bought me out of its paper bag, carefully broke it into two pieces and offered him half. “Just about how much I love you,” I replied.

He leaned over and kissed me on my forehead before taking the halved cupcake from me. “I love you too.”

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