:: chapter seven ::
“Okay Taylor, let’s take it again from the top. And try to pace your singing a little more; you’re singing just that little bit too fast.”
I nodded and scanned the lyric sheet to make sure I had the words right.
The first recording session for October was going okay so far; we were recording Home (the vocals anyway) today, and I was taking Emma out to the movies after recording had finished for the day. We planned to check out Adam Sandler’s newest movie, Mr. Deeds. So I really wasn’t concentrating on work, rather I was preoccupied with my sister’s impending visit.
“Sorry guys,” I apologised as I messed up again. “My sister’s coming down from Gosford this evening; I haven’t seen her in nearly a month.”
“That’s okay Taylor; we’ll pick it up again tomorrow,” said Cherie.
“Thanks,” I said gratefully. I hung my headphones on their hook and left the studio, grabbing my guitar case on my way out. I had little more than three hours to get home, get changed and fit in some web surfing before Emma arrived; it would be very interesting to see just how I managed it all. It was going to be quite the challenge, that was for sure.
Despite insurmountable odds, I made it home with one and three-quarter hours to spare; it’d taken me over an hour to navigate the still unfamiliar streets of inner-city Sydney, due to the fact that I rarely ventured so far into the city – add to that the usual late afternoon traffic hassles and you have a recipe for potential disaster. I vowed to print out a few maps from WhereIs and spend most of my spare time studying them until I knew them like the back of my own hand.
There was a note, written in Cassie’s looping scrawl, left on the kitchen bench for me; I picked it up and read it to myself.
Tay,
Matt and I have gone out to the shops to pick up some stuff that we forgot to ask Trish to get for us when she went shopping on Tuesday. If we aren’t back by midnight, send out a search party.
Cass
PS- If we don’t see you before, say hi to Emma for us, and have fun at the movies.
Trish was our housekeeper; she was young, being in her late twenties to early thirties, and her main duties were to do the shopping and clean the house (but to leave our bedrooms and practice room the way we left them). All other chores that needed doing around the house were our sole responsibility.
I rummaged through the fridge and pantry, searching for something to eat. I tossed aside two packets of two minute noodles, a can of minestrone soup, a couple of packets of Tim Tams and at least four packets of corn chips before I found something decent – an open box of Uncle Toby’s muesli bars. Blueberry, to be precise. I shoved my hand in the box and pulled out two, ripped open the wrapping of one and replaced everything I’d removed from the pantry in its designated spot. I elbowed the pantry door shut and made my way upstairs to my room.
At home I always kept my bedroom tidy, everything in its place. But here in Sydney, I was letting myself go a little. The only people who ever saw the interior of my room were Matthew and Cassie; what reason did I have to keep it tidy? Even so, my sister was coming down for the weekend, and I didn’t think she’d much like it if she came into my room only to be presented with a week’s worth of clothes that still hadn’t been put in the laundry to be washed. So with that fixed firmly in my mind, I set both muesli bars on my bedside table and started cleaning up my room. CDs were returned to the CD tower behind my bedroom door, clean clothes were stowed in my wardrobe, dirty clothes were taken downstairs to the laundry, crockery I’d used and not returned to the kitchen were deposited in the kitchen sink to be washed and bath towels were taken back to the bathroom. I made my bed, straightened the books on my makeshift bookshelves, and even tidied up the cables for my TV, VCR, PlayStation2 and stereo. That done, I rummaged around in my wardrobe for something decent to wear to the movies, coming up with jeans and a short-sleeved shirt. Casual, but nice enough to wear to the movies without being picked as someone from out of town. Nobody need ever know that I wasn’t a resident of Sydney on a permanent basis, just temporarily.
There came a knock on the front door of the house at around seven; I’d showered and changed, and was now sprawled on the lounge watching the start of Home And Away. Unlike a lot of guys, I liked watching it; Tammin Sursok just happened to be one of the hottest chicks to grace Australian television, which was my main reason for watching it. Groaning, I hit the mute button on the remote and hauled myself off the lounge; I padded barefoot to the front door and opened it wide. There on the front porch stood Emma, ‘dressed to kill’ with her backpack sitting on the porch at her feet.
“Well, well, well, look who the cat dragged in,” I said dryly, snapping Emma out of her reverie. She looked up sharply, then she grinned happily.
“Taylor!” she squealed, launching herself at me.
“Ouch, watch the shoulder,” I said, wincing involuntarily as Emma threw her arms around me. “I missed you too.”
“I can’t believe it’s been nearly a month since I saw you!” she said as she followed me into the house. “Wow, I love the house. You guys got lucky.”
I shrugged. “It’s a little too big for my tastes. I think I’m too used to home.” I looked around and shrugged again. “They didn’t spare any expense, that’s for bloody sure.”
“So, where do I sleep?” Emma asked seriously.
I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “Upstairs. You can either sleep in Cassie’s room with her, or in my room with me. I don’t think you’d want to share Matt’s room; he tends to not wear much to bed, if you catch my drift.”
“I think I’ll sleep in Cassie’s room,” Emma replied.
I nodded. “Go on upstairs; it’s the one next to the bathroom, end of the hallway. We’ll get going after you come back downstairs. Oh, and Emma?”
Emma paused in heading toward the stairs. “Yeah?”
“Cassie and Matt say hi. They’re out doing the shopping.”
Emma nodded and proceeded upstairs.
I ducked back into the kitchen and flipped Cassie’s note over; taking up a pen, I scrawled my own note.
Cass, Matt,
Emma and I have gone out to the movies. Cass, Emma’s sharing your room – I didn’t think it wise to make her share Matt’s room, considering his penchant for sleeping naked. See you guys tonight.
Tay
Having propped the note up against an empty coffee cup that had been left on the bench, I found my wallet and keys, then went to the foot of the stairs and yelled, “Come on Emma, we’re gonna be late!”
Emma came back downstairs, still wearing the same outfit but this time carrying a small black handbag. “Who dropped you off, by the way?” I asked as I switched the TV off and led Emma out of the front door.
“Dad,” Emma said simply. “I told him that we’d probably be back here at around eleven, and that he could drop in for a visit if he wanted, but he said he had to get home. Everyone at home sends their love; Mum said that you owe her a phone call.”
I nodded. “All right; I’ll call her when we get home tonight.”
Emma smiled and settled back in the front passenger seat of my car. “Let’s go show these city slickers how to party the Gosford way.”
I looked over Cassie’s shoulder at the book she was reading. “What’re you reading?” I asked her.
“The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy,” she replied. “It’s not bad, but I’ve read better.”
“Well, I’ve got a couple of Narnia books upstairs if you want to read those.”
She looked up at me sharply. “You read the Narnia books?” she asked.
“Yeah, so? I happen to think they’re really good.”
“They are, aren’t they? What ones?”
“Um…” I frowned in an effort to remember what books out of the Narnia series I had. “The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, and Voyage Of The Dawn Treader.”
“I haven’t read those ones yet.”
“Well, they’re on my bookshelves if you want to read them.” Cassie nodded. “Oh, and Cass, either we need to sound proof my room or keep the volume down. I think you were squealing loud enough last night to wake the dead, or at least my sister.”
Cassie blushed slightly. I chuckled and kissed her cheek. “Don’t worry; she goes home on Monday, and after that no need for sneaking around.”
I walked around to the front of the lounge and sat down next to her, tucking a few escaped locks of curly hair behind her ear. “What do you think about having a Monopoly tournament tonight?” I asked her. “I brought a set of the Australian version with me, and it’s just sitting on the floor under my bed gathering dust.”
“Sounds good to me,” Cassie agreed. “Whose turn is it to cook tonight?”
“I think tonight is pizza night,” I replied. “I’ll call up the local Pizza Haven place and we’ll eat it while we’re playing.”
“Cool,” Cassie nodded. “It’s a date then.”I grinned evilly as Cassie moved her playing piece towards Kings Avenue, loving the look of desperation in her eyes. In the two hours that we’d been playing, I’d put hotels on half the properties around the board – Kings Avenue, Flinders Way, Salamanca Place, Hay Street, Rundle Mall, Petries Bight, Wickham Terrace, Bourke Street, Castlereagh Street and Pitt Street to be exact. I also owned all the railroads and both utilities. Emma owned Todd Street, Davey Street, Barrack Street, North Terrace, Victoria Square, Stanley Street, Collins Street and George Street. Matthew owned Smith Street, William Street and Elizabeth Street. And poor Cassie owned lonely little Macquarie Street. So as it were, Cassie was being forced to pay thousands of dollars in rent, and she definitely wasn’t happy about it.
“Pay up,” I said as Cassie landed her cannon on Kings Avenue. She rolled her eyes in resignation and slapped two thousand dollars’ worth of Monopoly money into my outstretched hand.
“Don’t I get any special treatment?” she pleaded.
“Pfft, as if…” I sat back, grinning, and started counting my money.
Cassie shrugged and passed the dice to Emma; Matt started crowing, earning a look of disapproval from both Cassie and I. “No nookie for Taylor tonight!” he shouted gleefully.
“Nor the rest of the week,” Cassie agreed, smirking.
Matthew started cackling like an old woman, and I cast him a weird look. “Mate, what is your problem?” I asked as Emma rolled a ten, which landed her on Salamanca Place; she passed $550 across the board to me.
“The house is actually going to be quiet tonight,” Matthew replied, still cackling. “Every night for the past month Cassie’s been moaning her head off.”
“You’re just jealous.”
“As if.”
“Oh, go play with yourself.” Emma and Cassie both giggled at this, and Matthew actually looked slightly embarrassed. He reached behind him and extracted a slice of cheese pizza from its box, tearing the melted mozzarella cheese off of the base and shoving it in his mouth.
“Matt, if you’re just going to eat the cheese why the hell did you get an entire cheese pizza?” I questioned.
“I’m not eating just the cheese,” Matthew retorted, his mouth still full of cheese. I recoiled in slight revulsion and took the two dice from Emma; I rolled a seven, which (to my relief) landed me on a Community Chest square. I took the topmost card off of the pile and read the wording on the back out loud. “‘Grand opera opening. Collect $50 from every player for opening night seats.’ All right you guys, pay up; you owe me fifty bucks each.”
“Bullshit!” Cassie said. “Gimme that card.” She snatched it out of my hand and read it for herself, muttering all the while; rolling her eyes, she handed me $50. “Well, I’m outta money; it’s getting late anyway.”
“Yeah,” Emma and Matthew agreed. “I think Taylor won that one.”
“Oh, I won it all right,” I nodded. I looked at my watch and started packing up the game board. “We’ve got a recording session tomorrow anyway; we’re going to need as much sleep as we can get. Wanna tag along tomorrow, Emma?”
Emma shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”
Upstairs in bed, I stared at the ceiling; I couldn’t sleep. The events of the past seven months were still weighing heavily on my mind.
Had I been too abrupt in judging my birth mother before I even spoke to her myself? She’d said herself that she hadn’t wanted me, but…had she somehow regretted it, years later? For reasons unknown, something inside of me was changing once again. I wanted to get to know her now; I wanted to talk to her and find out what she was really like.
I got out of bed and left my room, padding down the hallway to the study. The computer was still on, humming away, so I clicked into my email account and sent my mother an email.
To: ‘Francesca Kennedy’ <italianqueen@aol.com>
From: ‘Taylor Kennedy’ <princeofdarkness@aol.com>
Subject: My mother
Date: Sat 4 Oct 2002 23:49:56 +1000Mum,
I know that in the past I’ve said that I don’t ever want to meet my real mother, but I’ve changed my mind. I’d like to talk to her – can you email me back with the Hansons’ phone number as soon as possible, so that I can give her a call? Bryony told me what it was, but I can’t remember it. Thanks.
Miss you lots,
Love Tay
I listened absently to Cassie and Matthew as they recorded their vocals for Home; it was just about finished. As I listened to them arguing over pitch and timing, I toyed with the scrap of notebook paper on which I’d written a phone number. Mum had emailed me back with the phone number I had asked for, and I’d scribbled it down only minutes before we left for the studio.
What have you got to lose? I asked myself. Worst case scenario is that she’ll hang up on you.
I took a deep breath and fished my mobile phone out of my pocket; fingers trembling a little, I punched in the number. Hitting OK, I raised the phone to my ear and waited for someone to pick up at the other end.
A familiar voice answered. “Hello?”
“Bryony? It’s Taylor.”
“Taylor! How are you?”
“I’m good. We’re in the middle of recording our album; Cassie and Matt are arguing about their vocals.”
Bryony laughed. “Was there something you wanted?” she asked. “It’s not like you to just call out of the blue; usually I’m the one calling you.”
“Actually, there is. I was wondering…would I be able to talk to your mum? Just for a little while?”
“Sure you can. Hang on a tick.”
While I waited to speak to Bryony’s mother, I milled over what I was going to say. What do you say to someone who you only discovered existed seven months ago, who you know didn’t even want you in the first place? By the time she spoke, I’d decided to just say what came into my head.
“Hello?”
I took a deep breath and spoke. “Almost nineteen and a half years ago, you gave a baby, a boy you named Jordan, up for adoption. That baby was adopted by a young Australian couple with no children of their own. And seven months ago, they were told by their parents for the first time that they were adopted.” I took another breath. “That baby was me.”
After she got over the initial shock of finding out who I was, we got on like a house on fire. About fifteen minutes later, Cassie called me over so that we could start recording the vocal track of I Don’t Know, and I reluctantly ended the phone call.
“I have to go; Cassie’s getting kinda impatient. We need to get back to work anyway.”
My mother laughed. “All right Taylor; you go get back to work. I’ll talk to you again sometime soon.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “Love you.”
I hung up and returned my phone to my pocket.
“All right, let’s take it from the top,” Cherie said when the three of us were in position.
I took a deep breath, then let fly on the song that Matthew had written little more than eight months earlier.
“Well I can’t take this any longer…well I can’t be this anymore…well I’m not getting any stronger…I don’t know how to feel this anymore…
“Well you can tell me what you want…after all that you’ve done for me…we can’t make it all undone…can’t you see that…
“I don’t know what to think…and you can’t tell me we’re dreaming…I wish that I could just let this go…what I’m thinking…I don’t know what I’m feeling…we just need space for breathing…I wish that I could just let this go…what I’m thinking but I don’t know…
“I’ve had these thoughts a thousand times before…I’m up against a wall I can’t ignore…I wish you didn’t feel so good to hold…‘cause then it wouldn’t be so hard to know…
“Well you can tell me what you want…after all that you’ve done for me…we can’t make it all undone…can’t you see that…
“I don’t know what to think…and you can’t tell me we’re dreaming…I wish that I could just let this go…what I’m thinking…I don’t know what I’m feeling…we just need space for breathing…I wish that I could just let this go…what I’m thinking but I don’t know…
“I wish I could tell you that everything…was gonna be alright…I just wanna love you…so maybe I can let this go…
“Well you can tell me what you want…after all that you mean to me…we can’t make it all undone…can’t you see that…
“I don’t know what to think…and you can’t tell me we’re dreaming…I wish that I could just let this go…what I’m thinking…I don’t know what I’m feeling…we just need space for breathing…I wish that I could just let this go…what I’m thinking but I don’t know…”
Cherie gave us a double thumbs-up as we finished singing. “Great work guys! We’ll do the instrumental on Tuesday; take a break tomorrow, you guys deserve it. Go home and get some rest.”
“I second that motion,” Cassie volunteered; we all laughed.
Emma met up with us as we left the studio. “So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?” she asked as we walked out to the van.
“We’re having a night in,” Cassie answered. “We worked hard today; Cherie’s right, we deserve a break.”
Right at that moment, a break sounded like it was heaven sent.
I settled back into my seat and closed my eyes. It was going to take at least half an hour, if not forty-five minutes, to get back to the house, and we did deserve a break; I planned to just sleep on the way home. And I did just that, falling asleep within minutes.
“What’re you watchin’?”
Emma jumped in surprise, twisting around to look at me. “Jesus Taylor, you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that!” she said.
“Oh, you know you love it.” I grinned at her. “All packed are we?”
“Yeah,” Emma replied. “Thanks for letting me stay over this weekend; I had fun.”
“You don’t need to thank us, Emma,” I told her. “You’re my sister, and you’re welcome to stay here anytime you want. And I’m glad you had fun.”
Emma smiled. “Tay, you know the movie Anastacia?”
“Yeah…”
“You know the song at the end, during the credits? What’s it called?”
“At The Beginning; it’s by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis. Why do you ask?”
“I was watching it on DVD a couple of weeks ago, and right before the credits came to showing the name of the song Lila unplugged the PS2.”
I chuckled. “Well, I think Cassie has that song on CD,” I said, nodding toward the CD tower that stood next to the stereo cabinet. “Go grab it and put it on.”
Emma nodded, getting up off the lounge and crossing to the CD tower; in the meantime I walked around to the front of the lounge and sat down. She put the CD in the CD player and skipped through the tracks; I fished around for the remote and turned the volume up.
“Sing it with me, okay?” I said as Emma sat back down again. She nodded, and the two of us started to sing.
“We were strangers, starting out on a journey…never dreaming, what we’d have to go through…now here we are, I’m suddenly standing…at the beginning with you…
“No one told me I was going to find you…unexpected, what you did to my heart…when I had lost hope, you were there to remind me…this is the start…
“And life is a road and I wanna keep going…love is a river, I wanna keep flowing…life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey…I’ll be there when the world stops turning…I’ll be there when the storm is through…in the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you…
“We were strangers, on a crazy adventure…never dreaming, how our dreams would come true…now here we stand, unafraid of the future…at the beginning with you…
“And life is a road and I wanna keep going…love is a river, I wanna keep flowing…life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey…I’ll be there when the world stops turning…I’ll be there when the storm is through…in the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you…
“I knew there was somebody, somewhere…like me alone in the dark…now I know my dream will live on…I’ve been waiting so long…nothing’s gonna tear us apart…
“And life is a road and I wanna keep going…love is a river, I wanna keep flowing…life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey…I’ll be there when the world stops turning…I’ll be there when the storm is through…in the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you…
“Life is a road and I wanna keep going…love is a river, I wanna keep going on…starting out on a journey…
“Life is a road and I wanna keep going…love is a river, I wanna keep flowing…in the end I wanna be standing at the beginning…with you…”
The song ended; at the same time, Emma twisted around to look at the front door of the house. “Dale’s here,” she said, spotting the figure, blurred by the panes of frosted glass in the wooden front door, standing on the front porch. “I better go.”
She stood up; I hauled myself off of the lounge and followed her to the front door. “I repeat what I told you last month,” I said as Emma made to open the door and go outside. “Anytime you want to come down here for a visit, you just email me and I’ll see if we’re free.”
Emma nodded and hugged me. “I’ll see you soon.”
I stood there on the front porch, waving as Dale Shelton’s borrowed Mitsubishi Lancer backed down the driveway and disappeared from sight. And with the thought of a night in watching South Park repeat episodes on The Comedy Channel fixed firmly in my head, I turned tail and re-entered the house, closing the front door after me.
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Lyric credits:
I Don't Know – Hanson
At The Beginning – Donna Lewis and Richard Marx